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It's Me the chopsticks  Ian o4'11'91 MSHS;YYSS Bur Sotong Daydreamer ian_daydreamer@hotmail.com Frienster: http://profiles.friendster.com/17090530 My Chopsticks <>ADORES~ &! <>LOATHES~ &! <>WISHES~ &! *Better grades*
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Hey bloggg.. heh, whats with the happy face (: .. ... BLOG... I'm veryy veryy tired of all these already... BLOGGG !! ... HEHEHEEHE. okay , well.. today she d... Hey Blog... Well, Today's my feelings~.. This few ... Bloggg.. I realised, that I was living in a world ... Sigh... Hello Blogger, Well..I saw what you post..... Hey blog again, today i'm post 2 post today.. sigh... Hey bloggggg~.. Heh, I think you won't be entering... Blog, hey... Today i found something that it reall... Fortunes Can Be Funny Save You - Simple Plan Fortune Cookies  Take Out Boxes September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 December 2007 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 |
Tuesday, December 28, 2010 I'm sorry, I've disappointed myself D: .. I realised... I realised that, i still can't let you gooo D: .. !! With all these happening, even when your heart is with another guy.. I still can't.. why why WHYY!!.. Someone please help me.. Help me get it out D: .. help me get out of this misery... I feel terrible, each time i think of you, i will think of you with that guy... I just can't get myself out... Please... I'm suffering :,( .. will you hear me... Wednesday, December 15, 2010 Hey bloggg.. heh, whats with the happy face (: .. hehe.. maybe i just feel free after all.. well.. I guess this is the last time posting on all this emo stuff already, cause.. well.. i find myself really foolish after all .. heh.. The guy well practically it is very obvious together in a relationship already but had just not admitted.. heh.. well.. Anyway, best for you two (: .. hope you guys last long heh.. you know, there are many curious things that is going round my head.. like... you still love him even as a smoker? ... heh.. love is blind i guess.. Anyway, let's made clear our line bah... from now on, i've nothing to do with you, and you've nothing to do with me ( Which i know you wouldn't want to anyway) haha.. blahhh i'm being random... oh well.. Anyway, i think you wouldn't even see this when you go in this.. heh.. all the words that you told me about studies come first, no time for relationship and all these are crap (: .. all are just words to tell me... the words you tell me that you won't love him is also crap (: .. I can't believe how can you lie so closely to me D: .. i'm just sad over that.. but heh.. Maybe this is life, the cruelty of life... I've yet to seen it, but i've already experience it... Love is just a lie, never believe anyone who say they love you till you really understand whats love (: .. Ian.. Don't be foolish anymore.. It's just one big plain lie. Thursday, December 09, 2010 BLOG... I'm veryy veryy tired of all these already, i keep coughing like non-stop.. i even suddenly wake up to vomit when i keep coughing while sleeping.. it's terribble... all these, i just want her to stop seeing that guy... is it worth it, i'm so tired now... If you see this, you know why i want go smoke, is not because of stress, or what.. but the thing is that you told me you wont go with smokers and get together with any of smoker.. but, now, you are pratically liking one smoker, how contradicting can it be.. i tell you.. if you were to get tgt with him or whatsoever, i will chose to smoke.. cause.. like you said, if you hate smokers, but got together with one.. then i will turn into one so that i can be one of the options that you can consider for.. Wednesday, December 08, 2010 BLOGGG !! ... HEHEHEEHE. okay , well.. today she didn't went online.. wonder where she gooo..... MY FUCKING MIND IS DRIVING ME NEGATIVE D: .. hehehe.. gotta stop it.. What are we, nothing sigh.. well i gotta stop,but but why does she treat me shallowly now... like today in lecture, i wanted to just talk to her and she justtt.t.... scoldddd meeeee..~~~ saddddd.. is it cause of him... The thought of him is driving me crazyyyy!!!.. I've no idea, but... well.. really... heh... don't let it happen. EVEN HE KNOWS HER FRIEND WTHHH !!.. I prefer the time when she just sms me and ask how am i, ... but i'm scared to sms her cause... i know what reply i will get.. either a one word, or a no reply D: .. well, why is it so tough.. i'm going wrong for this year.. .. but yeah... who fucking cares about my life anyway. let it be wrong .. Monday, December 06, 2010 Hey Blog... Well, Today's my feelings~.. This few days, I didn't take message her already... and... well, I feel that she didn't really care already.. Sigh, This is cruel... i feel lifeless now. Like a wind has just taken all of my breath, it's really hurting.. I'm putting a brave front infront of everyone, to show that i've become happier, so I wouldn't disappoint anyone. Nowadays, negative thoughts has really begin to go through my mind... The thought of smoking cause of the stress from all this things that i've been going through. But i consistently tell myself, never smoke cause you will be a disappointment to everyone.. But, I just am afraid to see her with him, I don't know how i will react... really.. Life sucks :( , it doesn't go on the way you want.. and definitely not on how i want it to go by.. I just feel miserable this few days, a smile, a laugh, isn't real. Wednesday, December 01, 2010 Bloggg.. I realised, that I was living in a world of delusion D: .. You know right from the start, it was sweet.... really sweet.. till in the end where it all changed, why did it happen so fast.. am i in wrong.. I keep asking myself, what did i do, what did i do to deserve all this. It hurts, totally, and i'm lost in my cruel world. All i was is just seeking a reply, but.. why can't i have that, why does that guy always get better off then me, you and him keep smsing, when i want to sms you, you just replied 1 word or probably 2.. then you don't even ask me anything while you seems so concerned asking him alot of things. And you say you no feelings for him? . It's an Ironic joke :( . really ironic. I want to change, change for the worst from now on. I want to.. I really do, I realised, being nice only get you hurt, being in love is just fake. It ain't true, when i put in my full, you didn't, and all ended up was you happily there while, me, can't even pick myself up any longer. Lies are all that I heard from the start and I don't want to hear anymore, you tell me things that is just lies, I feel hurt enough already, why can't i hear truth... why.. being nice just sucks to the max, you will only get hurt by people, by picking on their weakness and played with. I didn't know life is so cruel till now. I don't deserve this at all, and I will do the same from now on. Sigh... Hello Blogger, Well.. I saw what you post.. about you are utterly disappointed... and it hurt so much.. What are you disappointed with... are you disappointed with him...? isn't it ironic, you said you and him were friends, and you can be utterly disappointed that it hurt so much... i just really wish i don't live in this world right now D: .. not at this moment.. I can't understand why our 10months and his 2months is not comparable at all.. did i lose out in anyway... Why must this torture me so much T_T... Tml i'm having my exams :0 .. i wish you could just pick up the phone and clarify it with me.. how i wish for this instances... Friday, November 26, 2010 Hey blog again, today i'm post 2 post today.. sigh, i guess i feel moody that's why.. firstly, it's because of my exams today late after, i feel bery terrible now.. I vomitted, headache, heartpain.. stress.. just literally feel like dying.. Sigh, there's many things that really is going thru my mind now.. I'm thinking of the time where i went to find you and he's there, the time where he sent you to school.. tell me really, have you really fallen for him.. i feel so terrible..~ .. you keep smsing him, sweeter then how you sms me when i was with you.. even saying missing him.. saying morning to him every morning, and every night.. it just felt like you have founded a new love.. i prefer you stab me with a pen knife now. jjust stab it in.. i feel very tired.. I just felt like my first love is a sad one.. i just keep lying to myself.. how much fascination can i get from this, I know you said you won't get into a relationship, but will you guys be a couple without status like me and you ?. . I really don't want it to happen.. I really.. .don't want.. I guess i'm; being selffish, thinking all about myself.. but.. i just cannot bear to see that.. it's damn hurting.. ian uh ian, what happen to you lately.. can't sleep well, feeling sick, feeling tired... i felt as if i'm going to die sooner.. it's like my time is here... ian... helpp.~ i really need help~... There's one favor, that i hope you can grant me.. you told me last time, you can give up him as a friend, just to make me give up on you.. will you do that..? i don't know, but i just..cannot take it.. it's like he's come to your house area.. eat with you and such.. when it was a day before my b'dae, i ask you if i can sent you home and you straight away reject me.. why can't you do the same for him... i really can't understand.. i cannot take it already... i'm going to have a nervous breakdown soon D: .. Ian, please preserve... why do you treat him so differently from me.. why do you sms me like a stranger while you sms him like a very ..... sigh, .. i'm feeling very stress now.. life isn't as easy as it seems. |
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